The Story of "Paladin"
I had been writing and rewriting this story for 6 years when I was finally given the opportunity to make it. More than anything it's been a form of catharsis for me. While I wouldn't call it autobiographical by any means it was very much inspired by my own experiences growing up and learning to accept who I am in a world that was obsessed with conforming to what is expected of you. I grew up in a very religious immigrant community, in which I was expected to be a good Christian girl, a tall order for a young kid questioning their sexuality. I think that's something a lot of young people who are socialized as women in these communities can relate to regardless of identity. You grow up being told 'this is who you are, this is who you're expected to be' and the truth is very few people actually fit into that box. So how do you reconcile who you are and who the world tells you to be? I don't think there's one answer to that question but that's why I wrote this story.
And then in the summer of 2018 CineFAM gave me the opportunity to make the film. The script was awarded an in-kind equipment donation from Trinity Square Video, post production services from Urban Post, a $1000 cash grant and 2 months to deliver a completed film. Very quickly I had to put together a team so I tapped community organizer and filmmaker Carolyn Wu to help me produce the film and we went to work crewing. See, I had this idea that we could fill every role on the crew with a woman or queer/trans person of colour. I know what you’re thinking. If we had less than 2 months to deliver a complete film, why would we put an additional obstacle in our path? We had to push the shoot dates back to ensure we’d have enough time in pre-production, which cut our post production by a lot. So why? Well, for 2 reasons. 1) To prove that we could and 2) because I love a challenge.
So we tapped into our networks. I brought on cinematographer and stills photographer Setti Kidane to helm the film’s cinematography and Raoul Olou to provide the animation. Carolyn brought in Amanda Ann Min Wong to handle our sound and Samay Cajas Arcentales to lead the art department, who then tapped Terena Rodriquez to art direct. When Loretta Mui agreed to supply the project with her gorgeous illustrations, we were ready to go. In less than a month we had staffed every production role with bipoc artists, most of whom were women, queer and/or trans. So really, there’s no excuse. We had also dived head first into casting. Having only 2 roles to fill, our focus was on finding an actor to fill the specificity of the lead role. They had to have short hair, they had to be brown or dark skinned, and they had to be able to convey a deep pain without saying anything.
The film, after all, doesn’t have much dialogue. When I met Ruby Ajiliore, I knew we’d found our Paladin. So we had a crew, a lead, we’d cast Blane Solomon to play the villain opposite Ruby. We were ready to shoot.
And then July 20, 2018 arrived. Crew call was a few hours before sunset, as Paladin takes place entirely at night, but as director and head of craft services, my day started quite a bit earlier. The sky was cloudless, and the sun hot, but the weather report was calling for a 40% chance of rain and we couldn’t push production back any more. So we went ahead with the shoot. And it actually didn’t rain all day.
Until after midnight.
When the rain finally came down, it came so hard and so fast that we were just thankful we’d gotten the camera covered in time. The camera and lighting crew scrambled to shut off and cover the lighting gear as everyone else carried props, supplies and craft inside the building as the rain poured.
And we waited out the rain.
Now me personally, I’m a fan of summer rains. Some of my most joyous memories happened when the sky suddenly opened up in the middle of the summer months. But friend to film shoots, rain is not. Hours later, when the rain finally stopped, we were able to finish the rest of the scene. We had one more day to get what we’d missed, plus everything we’d planned for our second shoot day. But even though it didn’t rain again all day, and we were sure that as long as it stayed that way we could get everything, we still needed a plan B. Carolyn and I discussed the script and what we had left to shoot, and determined what we could potentially cut without losing the story and pushed that to the end of the shoot day. Knowing the shotlist and the script well was the only reason we were able to do that. And it turned out to be a good call because it did rain again, and we were never able to shoot that scene.
In the end, the film was more concise without that scene, which had mainly consisted of expository dialogue verbalizing the themes of the film. Another filmmaking lesson learned. Ideally, the film’s themes would be present in the story, and therefore speak for themselves. But either way, it was a lot of dialogue and would have resulted in a very different film. The rain did me a favour. Since completing the film it has screened at Caribbean Tales Film Festival, Regent Park Film Festival, Colour Theory Shorts, Toronto Indie Night, Columbus Black International Film Festival and semi-finaled at Les Mains Gauches in Marseille.
And now we present the film to you!
Photo Credits: Defar Media Inc. Farhiya Jama & Lu Asfaha